Snow is a “No Go” for Me

adult beverage breakfast celebration

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire.  it is a time for home.  – Edith Sitwell

Hogwash, Ms. Stillwell!

The necessities of winter:  fuzzy blankets made from the softest fabric; rich, aromatic coffee in my favorite mug; hearty soup served with delicate fresh bread; the fireplace chasing away the chill in the air.  These are all comfortably nestled inside my house, away from the icy cold weather outdoors.

There are people in this world who love all things winter — making snowmen, skiing, ice skating, sledding.  I am not one of them.  These are the top 10 reasons why I’ll be inside until it’s 50 degrees:

  1. Winter dry skin.  My skin instantly sucks up the moisture and still looks like fish scales.
  2. Sunshine.  Where are you my sunshine?  I miss you!  If I wanted to live in complete darkness, I’d have been born a vampire.
  3. Walking outside.  Is that ice or is it just wet?  I can’t tell, so I walk like this little guy.close up photography of penguin on snow
  4. Iced coffee.  My favorite beverage in the whole wide world betrays me, making me feel even colder.  The first sip of hot coffee is amazing but after that, it’s just not the same.
  5. Frostbite.  Within 5 minutes, I can feel my face freezing.  I feel a panic attack coming on.  Oh no!!!! What if I get frostbite and my limbs fall off? What if, what if, what if?!
  6. screen shot 2019-01-16 at 4.39.41 pmGerms.  Everywhere I go there are sick people coughing and sniffling.  Hello people... I have grandbabies due at any time!  Out of necessity, I’ve added a surgical mask and gloves to my daily wardrobe.
  7. Yogasicle.  My yoga mat seems to be perpetually stuck in the rolled up position.  I arrive for class 30 minutes early to greedily position my mat next to the heater.
  8. Asthma.  Just a few inhales of winter air and BOOM, I can’t breathe!!! Crap, where did I put my rescue inhaler?!
  9. Dog hair.  Despite staying nice and cozy inside with me, the Hero Dog has a coat twice as thick in the winter months.  There are not enough lint rollers in the house to get rid of the layer of dog hair on my clothes.screen shot 2019-01-16 at 5.20.59 pm
  10. Snow lovers.  Ugh!  The annoying, uber-happy people who think nothing of driving several hours away to throw their money and their bodies down the side of a mountain.

So if you’re looking for me anytime before March, I’ll be inside with a fuzzy blanket made from the softest fabric, lint rolling off the yellow dog hair while the fireplace chases away the chill.

xoxo,

Sharon and the Hero Dog

 

 

 

 

 

 

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